Trust me when I say this – women truly are the fairer sex. Better at listening, relationships, finding stuff like keys and yes… multitasking…
In fact, you’re so much better than men that, talking about your limitations really seems petty. There’sjust this little thing that some people (certainly not me..) think you could work on. Just one little thing…
Women can sure carve other women whom they don’t like up on the job. It can get pretty aggressive, can’t it?
Remember, it’s not me saying that. It’s the Workplace Bullying Institute, who would seem to know. More on women hating women from the New York Times:
“It’s probably no surprise that most of these bullies are men, as a survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute, an advocacy group, makes clear. But a good 40 percent of bullies are women. And at least the male bullies take an egalitarian approach, mowing down men and women pretty much in equal measure. The women appear to prefer their own kind, choosing other women as targets more than 70 percent of the time.
In the name of Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem, what is going on here?
Just the mention of women treating other women badly on the job seemingly shakes the women’s movement to its core. It is what Peggy Klaus, an executive coach in Berkeley, Calif., has called “the pink elephant” in the room. How can women break through the glass ceiling if they are ducking verbal blows from other women in cubicles, hallways and conference rooms?
Women don’t like to talk about it because it is “so antithetical to the way that we are supposed to behave to other women,” Ms. Klaus said. “We are supposed to be the nurturers and the supporters.”
As for me? I’ll let the Bullying Institute’s work stand on its own merits. Just know that on the occasions you’re talking to me about another woman who’s wronged you, I know I’m in a no-win situation (as a fellow employee or friend, not the HR Guy).
The inability for me to focus and have an opinion about the woman you’re talking about? That glassy-eyed look might actually just be a defense mechanism rather than a staple of being a guy…
This is one I’m dealing with right now. One woman at work decides she doesn’t like me, gets her friend involved, and now it really feels like if I fell over and died it would somehow be completely wrong. And of course when I tried the direct, “let’s just air this out and be professional going forward” route both women act like absolutely nothing is wrong and all this is in my head.
I think that might be the difference between male and female bullies. The male bully at least seems to relish the idea of being the bad guy; the female tries to pretend she’s completely innocent and you’re the one making up all this negative stuff about her. The M. Night Shymalan Theory of Pushing Buttons – always with a twist.
This hit home for me. I agree–we women have an interesting style when it comes to bullying, maybe even a flair for it. I blogged about it here: http://www.takewithfood.wordpress.com
I like working with women more than men except for this topic.
Fellas, we get it out and then head to the bar and do shots.
I love that ninja kitty picture so much. It’s the perfect picture for catfights, bullies, and other workplace altercations.
http://punkrockhr.com/2009/05/13/new-lemondrop-post-nut-up/
I agree with Paul, too. Dudes take their issues to the bar and end up bonding over sports & stupid stuff. Chicks should try it more often.
Kelly O, Paul, Laurie and Gigi – guys for the most part don’t bully in the same way, and to Paul’s point, the agressiveness is a lot less passive – and short-lived. At least in comparison.
Laurie – I was a little horrified when I clicked through your link, so here’s the rundown of the relationship (and lack therof)between your post and mine:
–I’m way behind on my reader, so I didn’t see your post before your link above, or I wouldn’t have used the pic. Never worried about writing on the same topic as long as i’ve got my own take. Same topic/same pic=too creepy.
–I orginally had a pic of my wife flexing her bicep at a baseball game (she’s got guns). She proofs my posts,and when she proofed this week she though it made her look like China from the WWE, so it came out.
–Looked for a catfight picture the same night, but couldn’t find something that wasn’t girls gone wild.
–searched “cats fighting” on Goog, and this one was it. I’m a cat person too, so you would expect I would pick that one.
Sorry it looks like I ripped you. I didn’t, and it’s interesting we would pic the same photo. And Telling….
Dude, it doesn’t look like you ripped me. Your take is different, and I think it’s funny because we both love cats (although your love is much more private).
I thought this post reaffirmed the awesome similarities between us!
It’s all good, KD. Who doesn’t love ninja kitties?!
I also feel that women are more judgmental then men.