As the dining room fills up with boxes marked “College Stuff” I’m continually reminded that my oldest is going away to college soon. She’s not going to be living in our house much longer. She will visit (I hope) often – but she won’t live with us anymore. And, while she is getting ready to move out – my son recently received his driver’s license and now all we see is the back of his head and the back of the car. He’s moving on.
Now what? Our parenting role has gone from a full-time job to a part-time job – or in my daughter’s case – an outsourced job. From now on, we’ll parent via phone and internet more often than not. That leaves a lot of empty time in our “parenting” bucket.
We’re not prepared for this. No one explained that once you’ve done a good job raising your kids that they leave and you’ll be sitting there with nothing to do. Now what? We’re not trained to do nothing. We’re trained to watch over them, correct them, protect them, guide them, counsel them. They’re not here now. What do we do?
When Employees Leave the Nest
Managing employees is similar. As managers we’re given a lot of training on the fundamentals of how to manage our employees. We’re taught how to do performance reviews, how to give constructive feedback, how to engage people, how to help set their objectives and goals. What we’re not trained to do is not do these things.
I remember when I first became a manager, a peer said to me “You are now responsible for your own workload.” Didn’t mean much then. But boy, that chicken is coming home to roost now.
As I think about what I’m going to do now that my kids don’t need me as much, I thought managers have the same issue. Once a manager does a great job getting their team to be pretty much self sufficient – what do they do? If you’ve ever managed a great team you know that the amount of intervention and the amount of guiding, counseling and “parenting” drops off precipitously.
If you’re an HR Pro – ask yourself – “How much training do we give managers on what to do when they don’t have to manage?” I’m guessing not much.
Unfortunately, what typically happens is that managers who have worked hard and have a great team – and now have nothing to do – start doing more of what they used to do. Nature abhors a vacuum and managers will fill that space with micro managing and useless reporting of progress. A sure-fire way to undo all their great work. I’m convinced that many a good manager has fallen due to this simple issue.
Teach managers what to do after they’ve done a good job.
As for me – I’m converting my daughter’s room into a man cave with hot and cold running hors d’oeuvres, a big screen and a garbage chute out the window connected directly to the trash can. I may never come out!
AWESOME!!!
I have reposted!!! Hope you don’t mind!!!
Paul – great post! The only thing I would disagree with here is that managers get plenty of training on how to manage. I think far too often companies simply take great individual contributors and shove them into management roles with little or no training. Then, HR hands them a bunch of processes and procedures and says “follow these.” That’s not managing. That’s parroting.
Thanks for the comments. Chris – my point was exactly your point – managers are trained how to manage – but what happens when they apply it successfully? Then what?
I was always taught to build self supporting teams to free my efforts to tackle the new challenges and break through the next road block.
I have seen managers try to fill the void , the vacuum as you put it with activity, and not adding value.
What all leaders must recognize is the need to mentor the next generation of leaders. I talk about 12 mentor moments in my blog post : 12 Mentor Moments to help leaders grow their businesses profitably http://nosmokeandmirrors.wordpress.com/2009/08/12/12-mentor-moments-to-help-leaders-grow-their-businesses-profitably/ .
If you find time that you did not have before become a mentor; it will prepare the next generation of leaders and make you stronger in the process.
Mark Allen Roberts
I am new to management and I manage only one person, but geez is it strategic. I have the option of taking all his big sales calls, but I have to restrain myself because the more he does (even if he struggles at first), the more self sufficient he will become. Cool article – it made me think. Thank you.
What I love about this post is that you helped me see something that was right in front of my face, but that I never noticed before. You’re absolutely right. Many managers learn to help their team and team members develop, but once they achieve that goal they don’t know what to do. And, as you note, many of them start meddling.
Beyond naming the beast, I’m not sure what the answer is. It lies in the domain of developing leaders, but I’ll sure have to give some thought to what the nuts and the bolts might be. Thanks for a helpful nudge.
Fortunately, my managers knew just what to do in this situation. When I had learned the role, grown the team, and trained my replacement, they moved me to another position (and another …). It was about a two-year cycle. The goal was to keep me (and everyone else) a little uncomfortable–and growing. Then I was selected to teach future managers full time for a couple years.
I have also been part of an organization that historically had not trained their managers. It creates a different culture that takes a while to change.
Always keep the challenge out there for both the individual contributors and the managers that report to you. Laterals and job swaps at appropriate times are a couple options for doing this.
Steve Larson
I apologize for not responding to the wonderful comments yesterday. As indicated, I was moving boxes from truck to dorm, setting up the stereo, the computer, the – well you name it.
I’m happy that I struck a cord with this post – and the more I thought about it, it has applications outside of “management” and can apply to any position, task, job. What do you do when you’ve done it. Something I need to consider more in my own journey.
I can tell you this – my daughter had no problem with the transition – she found all sorts of things to move onto – within minutes of getting the bed set up:
- Welcome party
- Breakfast meeting with friends from high school
- Asking Daddy for the deposit into her “school” account.
It has been only 12 hours and, while everyone else may think I’m unaffected – I miss her already.
Appreciate the comments – have a great weekend!
Times and Roku is what thye ARE NOT doing by keeping old business models while inventing new ones. Sort of one hand not knowing what the other is doing. Roku rolls out new platforms but hasn’t tackled the key question of selling more boxes. You need one for each TV. Why not discount multiple orders for people with more than one TV? Financial Times wants to make online access free or pay depending upon the frequency of use, but it continues to charge customers TWO fees if the customer subscribes to print AND wants an subscription online as well. Do the people in office A ever talk to the people in office B