I've been told, on more than one occasion, that my sense of humor is a little different. For one, I laugh at inappropriate times. And as you can imagine, that means that there are those very awkward moments where I'm the only one laughing and then people stare as if I'm completely crazy. Which is precisely what happened the other week when I was watching the movie Up in the Air.
Play along with me if you haven't seen the movie. Imagine. In one of the early scenes, they cut to a series of people being let go and play their reactions one after another after the news has been delivered. You watch individual after individual flashing before your eyes saying things along the lines of…
You can't do this to me.
I have a family at home to feed.
What can I do to reverse this decision?
I just need one more chance.
I've worked here for twenty years and this is the thanks I get?
What do I tell my kids?
How am I supposed to pay my bills?
And truthfully, I couldn't help but laugh. Really hard. Because of course, as a semi-jaded HR person, I pretty much could have predicted the words that were going to come out of their mouths because I've heard these things before. And if you too have been in the position of laying people off or terminating for cause, I'm sure you've heard some, if not all, of these exact same things as well. You probably could have recited the lines along with the actors. And because predictable is at times funny, you might have laughed as well. Until you looked around and realized that like me, you are the only one laughing in the theater because, of course, … losing your job is no laughing matter. I felt like a complete ass for my maniacal laughter.
Fast forward a week or so later after watching the movie and doing some "research" about the film to potentially write a blog post about it… and I learn that they hired actual people who had lost their jobs to play some of the individuals who were being let go in the film. Smart. Really smart, actually. They hired real-life unemployed people and had them recreate the reaction they had when told that they'd be losing their job and then filmed all the mess of emotions that goes with that. Genius. Except of course that this only made me feel like an even bigger ass than when I was in the movie theater, because let me say it again: losing your job is no laughing matter.
I know that there are folks who are sharing great lessons learned from the film – about how to or how not to let people go from their jobs… all very good stuff. But me? I'm still honestly stuck thinking about my inappropriate laughter and how pitiful, if not dangerous, it can be to get jaded in this gig which, after all, is all about people. I hate to be dramatic, but here's one way you can easily boil down what your gig as an HR pro is: dealing with people in life changing situations. Offering them jobs that could mean income that is needed to put a roof over their family's head. Providing affordable health insurance that means security for those just-in-case situations. And then there are the times, unfortunately, where you may have to be involved in ending their vital stream of income for whatever reason. And I think it's fair to say, no one wants to deal with a jaded HR pro in situations like those.
Sure, it's kind of silly of me to have fiction, a George Clooney movie no less, teaching me such a lesson… to not be so jaded and to remember that job losses aren't funny… but I guess it's better than continuing to laugh and make an ass of myself for being so heartless. So go watch the film. Is it Oscar worthy? I dunno about that. Is it entertaining? Kind of. But if it does for you what it did for me, I think you'll be better for it, because we don't need a profession full of cynics when, after all, we're dealing with real people and real life.
See ya at the movies.
I love an honest post from a recovering cynic. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but plan to. Yes, everyone says this, “Letting people go is one of the worst parts of being in management.” And it never gets easier.
BTW,something you can do to ease your guilt – Try helping some folks who are out of work in their search. I think it will mean a lot to them.
I was the only person in a full theater to laugh out loud when the Guy tossed the chair when he got the word. I felt bad for laughing but that was so funny.
I agree with Bradley- and certainly I can vouch first hand for Kris- he does this every day- (helps others that are searching)-
I had the opposite reaction – I cried. Don’t get me wrong – I still don’t mind a good, old-fashioned, termination for cause. But until I saw that movie I didn’t realize how tired I am of laying innocent people off, of radically changing their lives and having to be so walled off about it. Seeing those people on the big screen and not being in a face-to-face meeting gave me room to just feel sad about the state of the economy, and sorry for anything I might have done or not done to make such a terrible experience even worse. I left there thinking that, if I’m going to stay in this field, I have to find a way to help people who just made a bad bet about where to go to work.
I agree that I have heard all of these but 10 years ago after I had an associate that I had to “liberate” I asked the managers with me how they thought I did. They thought it went well and was done professionally.
The employee told my manager that he thought I was cold when I was doing this.
So I have worked to improve this process and have added several things and even follow up into when called to “liberate” someone.
I also work very hard to help those losing endorsement to gain it, calm issues on the floor in operations and steer sales people towards “goal oriented” thinking and more now to prevent losing talent.
After all I am in talent retention.
I’ve been both laid off and fired for cause. The firing really knocked me off my feet. It wasn’t performance-related but it was still a HUGE blow to my ego. I was always an all-star at every job I had and my reviews were spectacular. But when you don’t get along with your boss, your days are typically numbered. I felt a lot of guilt every time I answered the “have you ever been fired or asked to resign” question on applications. I left on decent terms (all things considered) so my company gave me severance and officially listed me as voluntarily resigned but I knew the truth. I didn’t truly move on until I came to grips with the fact that I screwed up and deserved to be fired. In hindsight, I would have fired me. I wouldn’t say I’m glad it happened but things turned out for the best. I’m happy to be away from that boss (who got fired shortly after me), I learned a lot of lessons and I got a $20K increase at my next job.
Being laid off didn’t really bother me. It was strictly a business decision and I didn’t take it personally. I knew the company was in trouble so I planned for it and was already working with a recruiter. I live beneath my means and always have enough money in the bank to live about a year (the primary lesson I learned from the firing experience). I also keep my house in great shape so I’m only ever a week or two away from being able to list it if I need to move for a job. That might seem radical but it gives me great piece of mind. Your options are pretty limited when your chief concern is how your kids are going to eat next week or if you can make next month’s mortgage payment.
i’ve retrained those who’ve been laid off and have been downsized and restructured myself. with this perspective, i found the film really sad, and while i hoped for a happy ending for clooney and farmiga’s characters, it’s satisfying that he ends up as adrift as those he laid off.
thanks for the link to my post on layoffs, jlee.
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I have not seen the movie but I appreciate your post! I was laid off from a company that was sinking faster then the Titanic and I couldn’t get out of their fast enough. We all knew the company would last only a few months beyond the gossip…when the HR manager came down to lay off the remainder of recruiters (yes, I was a recruiter – how ironic, huh?) they had this way about them, almost like they enjoyed letting people go! This particular person thought they were safe – they went around saying they were going to move into a new management position once the downsizing was complete and they would be “set.” They even went as far as telling those laid off that they were sorry but as long as it wasn’t them being laid off they could care less what happens to everyone else …just what you want to hear…somethings are better left unsaid…
Needless to say, they ended up in the same position not even a month later! Laid off!
Hearing those comments made us all bitter– I had negative feelings towards this person while I was laid off (took it extremely personal) and it was not until they accidently made a call to my new extension asking for assitance that I realized how things can easily be flipped. I’m sure it took a lot for them to call but if you had heard their tone of voice there was no apology needed…they had learned their lesson.
Don’t burn your bridges…be kind because you never know where you’ll be or who you’ll have to work with a day, month or even a year from now!
Great Post. Thank you for sharing…
Well, at least the “Clooney method” is better than sending someone a text message to lay them off or break up with them via text (which also occurs in the movie)… And there was an appearance of some sort of outplacement support for those losing their jobs.
Most companies today provide outplacement support for managers or executives – about 20% of those impacted. The rest of the folks have to rely on their own wits or a state unemployment agency for help. Or some for-profit agency with murky motives and a high cost to the individual.
There has to be a better way, especially for the experienced worker who may not have looked for a job in a long time.
I must admit, I haven’t seen the movie, but it’s certainly on my list of things to do. But I’ve been on both sides of the table, so I can’t wait to see the different scenarios this movie has to offer.