Charlie Sheen, you have been such a pleasure to watch and hear. And for that I thank you, you narcissistic schmuck.
However narcissistic though, you are a trailblazer. As you would say, an “Epic” trailblazer, for you have pushed Hollywood to a new brink. The viewing public is finally seeing something that is rare — a Hollywood firing. You have done what Lindsey Lohan, Courtney Love and countless other naughty actors could not do… get fired. And I say loudly and proudly – Hooray for Hollywood.
Charlie – you have given so many fantastic examples of poor professional behavior… that bloggers, authors and pop-culture mavericks will be round tabling for months. I can hear the pundits already making a variety of cases on why you should or shouldn’t have been fired: you’re an addict, you’re bi-polar, you’re spoiled, you’re an anti-Semite, you’re slanderous, you’re putting your children in danger, and you’re a sadist. BUT you hit your marks, you showed up for work; you have star power and YOU MAKE THEM MONEY.
So many exciting things – so many dramatic things – to discuss.
But to me, this firing was based on a simple business principle that dear Superstar Charlie forgot. The simple principle of supply and demand. Charlie… check yourself before you wreck yourself. Here are your DUH factors:
- Has your self-delusion made you forget that YOU replaced a seemingly irreplaceable actor named Michael J. Fox in his hit show, Spin City? I am going to start a new Facebook campaign to have Michael J. Fox replace you on Two and a Half Men. What a fab twist. DUH.
- The Screen Actors’ Guild (SAG), the labor union for working screen actors, represents 120,000 working actors. DUH.
- The Actors Equity Association (AEA), the labor union for working stage actors, represents another 49,000 performers. DUH.
- The BLS says competition is keen… meaning simply too many actors, not enough jobs. And I quote: “Competition for acting jobs is intense, as the number of actors auditioning for roles greatly exceeds the number of parts that become available.” DUH.
Charles, dear Charles… there are so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, soooo many people who could replace you. Right now. Like in the next 5 seconds. Make that 2 seconds. Make that yesterday. I mean… the title of the show is Two and a Half Men. By my math that leaves one and a half others who would love to take your cut of the dough.
And for those of you who say, “Oh, but he showed up to work!” Well, good for him. But Charles is in the business of image. And image control. His out of work behavior does affect the marketability of the show. Especially when – and eventually it would have been when – advertisers started to pull out because he is a wife beater, drug addict, fill in the blank here. Sorry guys – but if I have to tell my Birmingham, AL, managers that they deserve to have team members with good skills and good attitudes for 30K a year, then $2 million an episode Charlie should too.
Like Charlie, sometimes us commoners get so deluded with nonsense we forget the basics. We forget that we are not the center of any one work world, we are replaceable, and as my dad says… never crap where you eat. DUH.