I am constantly joking with my husband that I know some disgruntled employee will one day whack me on their way out of the building. But there is a bit of truth in every joke, isn’t there? That’s why I face my desk towards the door. I want to see who is coming so I have time to yell out, “It’s Bob from Accounting!” before I get shot.
This past week has been strange, to say the least. My fear of being whacked seemed closer than ever.
We had a few guys who were bullying another employee. They put pink hand soap in his hats and work boots. The employee complained to his manager, and the manager called me.
We interviewed the two guys working with our soap victim that day – only to find out that neither one of them was going to give the other one up. Since they were in cahoots with each other – I just fired them both. Why did I do that? Because the kid being bullied didn’t deserve it – and these guys are pretty much jerks anyway.
Once I released them and scolded them about how ashamed they should be of themselves (because I am a mother and I like to make people feel bad when they are mean to others) the emails began.
Email #1 (to me, from a bully): I am not a bully. You’re a bully and a bitch. I am going to sue you.
Email #2 (to bully, from me): We have strict policies on workplace harassment and bullying. Best of luck in your future endeavors. Kindest Regards, Meredith
Email #3 (to me, from bully): You’re going down. You’re two faced. I’m going to take you down.
I said nothing to this. I laughed a little because I know he has no case since he is a white male, under 40 years-old, with a disciplinary record. He also obviously has aggression and anger issues – so he seems to be a bully. And then I got another email after 45 minutes of not responding (Bullies loathe silence).
Email #4 (to me, from bully): I know things about you. Like where you live. Watch your back.
Um? Okay. This one seems a little more serious. Maybe my motherly guilt trip stirred up some bad childhood memories, maybe he does know where I live, maybe he is on his way to my house right now to maim my nanny and children!
So I began to panic. Big time. I called the nanny and made her lock up the place. I called my son’s school and told them I would pick him up afterwards. And finally, I called our security management company (who I have only ever called to investigate thefts) and asked them for some help.
The local police were put on high alert, and the bully was paid a visit. They explained to him that he had just destroyed any court case that he may have had since he put threatening words in writing. Cleary this dude is a bully and a huge jerk.
So did I go overboard? I don’t think so. At the end of the day, this is just a job. I want to go home to my family. Do I need to have security in every termination or discipline procedure? No. I think most people are generally good hearted, and I am not yet jaded.
But you tell me, have you ever been afraid of an employee? Do you know anyone who has been a victim of workplace violence?
Overreact? Not at all.
When someone is making overt threats, especially someone dismissed recently and known to have power issues, you can’t be too careful. Sadly, that is the nature of our work.
But, as is the nature of the bully, getting pushed back by authorities is usually very effective.
I agree with Dwane… you didn’t overreact.
There is a reason my home address isn’t listed in the phone book and I don’t give out my personal cell number at work.
At a previous employer we had an employee comment to his supervisor at the termination meeting “Don’t worry, I don’t get mad. I get even.” The local police were a great asset in our situation as well.
Being alert to potential violent situations and proactively managing them seems like the best way to protect ourselves and our fellow employees.
Thanks for sharing your story, Meredith. This is a good example of the “unspoken” part of HR. I have also been threatened and had potential for a violent situation. Luckily all situations turned out fine, but we have to take every situation seriously because you just never know .
Been there, done that and have the tshirt. You most certainly didn’t overreact. I’ve been cursed at, swung at, and had a hard hat thrown at me. I’ve had parents threaten me after precious little Johnny was terminated and I’ve had enraged (abusive) spouses of EEs threaten to come and take-me-down. I had a disgruntled employee (fired for drinking on the job) spread the word he was coming back to the facility with a shotgun. He came back (sans gun) and the police were waiting for him.
My mantra – be firm, polite, and factual. And use in-house security or an outside law enforcement agency when there’s even just the tiniest kernel of a situation getting out of hand.
Would the threat have been made had you been a 6′ 200# HR person with a few tats, a bald head, and some arse kicking skills? Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps it would have been “worse”…
You didn’t go overboard at all.
Hmmm…did he ask for a reference?
I join the group in saying that the last email was a threat and not all that veiled, either. I would have called the police and may have gone a step farther about a PFH order. I sometimes wait to see if the person calms down over a 48 hour period and if nothing else develops, not get a PFH. The question I would have is: is there anything in what you know about this person that tells you there is a mental health issue or have you ever heard him talk about guns. In most cases where an employee comes back with intent to do harm, these are clues.
I was to do an interview once. It was daylight savings time. The skip forward one. The kid was… like three hours late. So when he finally showed up for his interview in wrinkled jeans and a dingy t-shirt, I kindly informed him that an interview would not be taking place. Well he came into the store three different times and on the third time proceeded to cuss at me and call me a bitch and on his way out knocked over a few displays. I wasn’t worried, just amused.
I don’t think you overreacted at all.
I once had a terminated employee threaten to rape me in an email and several voice mail messages over a week period after he was let go. I had the security guards at our facility escorting me to/from my car each day and my neighbor who was a cop parked his cruiser in front of my apartment. I ended up having to file a restraining order. It was a huge mess and I was really traumatized by it. I was single then with no children.
Now that I am a mom, I am even more careful. People are so volatile these days. It is better to be safe than sorry. I pray for the safety of everyone tasked with these duties in our profession!
Thank you for sharing your story with us.