I was on vacation over the past few weeks on a trek through Europe. It was amazing and wonderful and such a fantastic time. So much so that I’m now plotting how to move to Paris. It was that great.
The out of office response was on. I had ditched the suits and heels. And as my reading material for the trip, I picked up Tom Friedman/Michael Mandelbaum’s That Used to Be Us… how America fell behind in the world it invented and how we can come back. I thought it would be, and it is, an interesting read. Anything Friedman I’m usually willing to pick up. But reading this while traveling abroad specifically was interesting.
The book works toward spelling out what’s needed to sustain the American dream and preserve American power in the world. Fine and dandy. Obviously, I reap the fruits of powerful (hopefully not declining too quickly), capitalist America. And with immigrant parents who had little to nothing, I am living proof of the American dream, right? But as I sat on planes and trains with my book, I struggled.
For one, I was keenly aware that I was not on my turf and I was a visitor. Admittedly, I was a little embarrassed to pull the book out in public given the jacket is literally plastered with American flags. But that aside, the greatness of America and the nostalgia for what our country used to be that’s talked about in the book – I still am not sure I can really identify with it. Warm, fuzzy feelings for American greatness? I dunno if that’s me. Especially while I was running around Europe feeling like life there just felt… really good. And compatible. And right. (But doesn’t it always on vacation?! I know…)
So I’d sit there trying to read the book while struggling with the fact that yes, absolutely, there’s a problem with America that needs to be solved. But is it my problem? Especially when I can’t identify with the nostalgia for America’s past greatness and that’s to be what drives me to want to make change happen… do I even own this issue? Is it my problem?
“That’s not my problem.” Ugh. No one loves hearing that. I hated hearing myself say it. Which is when I had to pause and step away from the book and somehow I started to think about possible parallels to the organizations we work within.
You see something that needs to change. A flaw in a process. A behavior. An action that has potential harm. You discuss it. Maybe you come up with action plans to fix it. But ultimately… it will remain unfixed unless there’s some sense of belonging for and ownership in some kind of larger construct like an organization or company which drives you to want to make change. When you belong, when you feel a strong attachment to, you become protective of a culture. And then things happen. People act. They feel compelled. But you’ve got to feel like you belong. And you and I as HR and recruiting folk… we already know this.
Growing up, and still now, the notion of all-American mystifies me. What is it? How do we define it? Pie, baseball… I shrug my shoulders. I’m thankful to call this place home for a lot of reasons. But I’ve always felt a little lost between different cultures. I don’t feel like I belong. Which drives the “that’s not my problem” situation I’m in. Yet Friedman and Mandlebaum’s hope is that through collective action, and by tapping into our nostalgic feelings for what America used to be and can be (our culture), we can restore America to greatness. On the surface, it could be compelling. But I think there’s a challenge with that remedy when you might not have a collective that feels they belong. And as you and I already know, that’s important.
I’m noodling on this one a bit more… I don’t have the answers here for how to fix the mess America is in. But I sure as heck know that culture rules. And for our organizations at least, when you’ve got the right fit, it all works itself out. Pretty nicely.
Ah Jessica…. my poor, about to be shaken into reality friend…
What I love about America is that it’s defined so many ways for so many people. You don’t get baseball and apple pie? No problem, because the little bit I know about your family typifies something that I view as uniquely American, even though I’ve never experienced your family’s unique path – just like you’ve never experienced my midwestern roots. It’s all American just the same.
Now on to your feeling that you don’t own the problems… That’s about to change, my friend, as soon as you and your new husband decide to start a family. At that point, you won’t be able to float around Europe with a eurorail pass and backpack enjoying the fun perspective of asking “what does it all mean…”… You’ll have doubled-down on America, because you’ll have to own all the opportunities and challenges your kid faces. And you’ll then learn that the best way you can help America face the challenges is to be heavily involved in the community you live in and make that area the best it can be for your kids and the other kids they grow up with.
Which is really the answer to all the problems, but the issue is we can’t scale people like you. The problem is that there aren’t enough couples like JLee and Bobby.
Raise your kid in France? Good luck with that, I know the answer even if you don’t yet.
See you in the suburbs when you become a Tiger mom and a community activist.
PS – you’d be one of my favorite people if we had kids growing up together, because even though on the surface we have nothing in common, we’d have everything in common related to what we want for the communities our kids grow up in. That’s the answer, and you’re right – it has nothing to do with the past….
KD
ohhhh. well, i do think you’re totally spot on, KD. i agree that ownership in the community is the key, just like we see in our orgs. that’s the only thing i’m certain about though.
what creates ownership? it’s gotta be fit to the culture, if we’re talking orgs, right? but if we’re talking community and ye olde america… i guess i wonder what are we to do with the reality that child birth rates in the US are at an all time low and continues to decline?
and then beyond that, you have disaffected me who doesn’t feel like we fit in in the burbs but likely will refuse to live in the city where the schools are awful and would have to spend 30K a year for private schools. does the sense of ownership and desire to contribute to community just kick in as soon as we start popping kids out, regardless of where we live? where’s tom friedman’s response to me?!
but of course, in the end, KD, i’ll end up in the burbs and i’ll have those kids. i’ll serve on the PTA and neighborhood watch but i’ll still look around and wonder if that’s where i’m supposed to be. can’t wait for that midlife crisis!
JL – isn’t it great to question it all when you’re on vacation? When you’re not grinding away at the day to day, it’s great to let the mind wander.
Here’s my problem with Friedman/Mandelbaum’s thinking – nostalga has never driven America forward in the past, and it never will. While there is a lot to be proud of in our history, there are plenty of failings as well. Study and learn from your history – use successes as your foundation, learn from your failures, and then build your own future.
While the Japanese can and should take credit for perfecting continuous improvement processes, it was basiclly born here with Deming, and it is that spirit and drive – to make things better, to not be satisfied – which you appear to have, that makes America great. The drive to create, improve, and hopefully make things better for the next generation. As KD points out, nothing focuses that like the next generation being your own next generation.
As humans/Americans, who often aren’t as good as we should be about learning from our history, we sometimes forget the lessons of the past and get off track (nobody can compete with us, so we can build crappy cars; tech stocks will never go down; we can repackage financial products and “create” profit without adding value).
Culture/collective feelings are created and reinforced everyday. Hopefully we make positive contributions those both in our organziations and communities. We all have different points of perspective, and different ways we can contribute. This too, is what makes America great.
Glad you’re here, thanks for contributing.