Don’t Turn Your Resignation Into A Booty Call

Unless you married your kindergarten sweetheart it’s likely at some point in your life you’ve had a relationship end.  Sometimes you’re the dumper and sometimes you’re the dumpee.  But in either case, it’s not a pleasant experience to go through.  How you handle the break-up however, goes a long way towards determining whether or not it’s a clean break or a dramatic event worthy of its own reality show.  Breaking up with a company has a lot of the same elements as breaking up with a significant other – emotion, feeling let down, and curiosity/jealously about where they’ve chosen to go work.  And people mess this up ALL THE TIME.  Here’s just a few example:

The Long Good-Bye:  An employee tells you he’s resigning from the company to take another position and he happily tells you he’s giving a 4 week notice.  And, you know, if we really need him he’s happy to stay up to 6 weeks to help transition over.  Ok, let’s put this in relationship terms – you’ve found another guy that you’d rather be in a relationship with and you’ve already told him you want to be in a relationship with him.  But, because you “care” about me you’ll still come by my house to visit me every day for a month with no fooling around of course.  Uh, no thanks.  There’s a reason 2 week notices were invented….

Looking for Validation:  This person has made the decision to leave your company but you can tell they’re not really sure they made the right choice.  What they really want to hear from you is how happy you are for them, that they made the right decision and how sorry we are to see them go.  They want YOU to make them feel good about their choice.  But you know what?  I don’t have any interest.  In fact, to quote one of my finance friends, “If they’re quitting, eff’ them.”

The Drama Queen:  One of my favorites.  When the drama queen resigns, she immediately thinks she’s back in high school and can’t help but spill all the “dirt” about the failed relationship.  She goes on a one woman crusade to make sure that she comes out looking like the victim and that no one in their right mind would want to work for you in the future.   She leaves a trail of destruction in her path that you’re left cleaning up for months.

Friends with Benefits:  First of all, there’s no such thing.  But that’s for another post.  These guys really piss me off though – they leave your company but you see them at company related functions drinkin’ our drinks, eatin’ our food and talkin’ about how great their new job is going.  Really?  See the quote above from the finance guy for what we tell these free-loaders.

The Booty Call:  Who doesn’t like the ol’ booty call?  At first, it’s great but eventually it runs its course.  The organizational equivalent is when someone leaves your company let you still see them so often in and around the office that you swore they never left.  In fact, every time the see you they tell you how much they miss the company and are thinking about coming back.  Classic booty call behavior.  If they company is so good, why did you leave in the first place?

Bottom line – people leave companies all the time that’s not the issue.  It’s how you leave and what you do afterwards that matters most.