This is going to sound morbid but I promise it isn't. I want you to write your own obituary. Today. Actually, Tony Robbins style… stop the tape, get out a tablet and pen the damn thing right now. The formula for a decent obituary is the following:
- Who were you?
- What did you stand for?
- What did you achieve?
- Who cares?
Oh, and you have a word limit. 300 words. Here's mine…
***
William was born in New Jersey but, more importantly, raised in Texas. William was riddled with biases and contradictions. He reveled in his vices and publicly made fun of folks that tried to hide the freak side of human nature. William was a cafeteria style Catholic. William loved dominance… Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Manchester United were all passions for him. William loved the beach… any beach really but the Emerald Coast of Florida was his favorite. William was an over-cusser. He enjoyed fine cigars and fine scotch but not at the same time. He was an avid coin collector. A little known fact about William… he was superstitious… in a weird eccentric sorta way. William was most comfortable listening to hip hop and/or reggae music. William loved swagger and people that believed in themselves.
William despised small talk, small minded people and most politicians. William was a harsh mentor, partner, friend and father. Harsh. As in don't ask for his opinion if you don't want his version of the truth. William inhaled life and had absolutely no regrets. His intensity was legendary and was both his greatest asset and biggest weakness. William was probably one of the most misunderstood people of all time… mostly because he didn't give two s#*ts about what others thought of him. He was always comfortable in own skin. William was drawn to people that exuded passion, intellect, and ambition. Of the folks that intersected with William, 50% loved him and 50% desp
ised him. Tattooed over his heart were the words… faith, love, hope and trust. Those were all aspirational ideals for William.
William barely graduated high school but easily completed his BA (Art History), MA (American Indian Studies) and MBA (Marketing). He was an accomplished entrepreneur. His foundation, Mouse Tincup, funds arts programs for American Indian children. His biggest successes were being a father to his two sons and best friend and loving partner to his wife Michal.
William is survived by his wife of 50 years, Michal. His two sons Joseph Henry and Van Ollis. His is also survived by his two brothers, John and Joel. He touched countless lives… in intended ways and unintended ways of course. In accordance with William's wishes the family is not having a memorial service. Please RSVP to William's wake, planned for Tuesday at 6:00 pm at Club Schmitz in Dallas. Come prepare to drink, dance, smoke and tell inappropriate stories of William's exploits and/or escapades. After all, we're celebrating his life not his passing. Limousines will be provided.
***
Okay, that was really hard to do.
The next time you are about to hire someone… and they've fulfilled the normal requirements. They have skills… check. They are competent… check. References say nice things about them… check. Have them produce their obituary for you. I think deep within the subtext of their obituary might just be the secret sauce to 'fitability'. Is this a person that you want to spend significant time around or not? Is this someone that inspires or repulses you? Is this someone that you are proud to have known? Does this person have similar values, etc? I don't know… just seems like we should explore this more in both HR and recruiting.
PS. I wrote this article on a plane from Detroit to Dallas… how morbid is that? And stop judging me.
Hit me in the comments – 300 words or less…
That is a fantastic piece of writing. Thanks for sharing it with us, William.
(Less than 300 words)
One of my (many) peak experiences was a variation on this exercise while working as a Career Services professional in grad school. It was at a seminar given by Richard Bolles, a former minister, and then newly minted career ‘expert’ with his 3rd edition of What Color..” just out (you get the picture).
I was 24 and it took me 2 weeks of rewrites to find a paragraph that satisfied how I would like to be remembered. I kept that piece of paper in my wallet for 30 years and periodically took it out when opportunities came my way to measure whether that life/career choice would enhance the way that in the end I would like to be remembered.
I’m especially pleased that I’ve had the opportunity to come full circle and thank Richard for being one of the many folks who has changed my life.
So William it was in the last two paragraphs your ‘voice’ on this subject is to be found. You might want to think about distilling the ‘obit’ to just 2 paragraphs written by a third party who is one of those folks whose life you have changed…intentionally or unintentionally…by the way you lived your life.
Best
What a complete load of crap. You can’t write a decent obituary for yourself because 1) you’re too close and too biased to have any perspective, even if you spend the majority of your time thinking about yourself; and 2) what other people think of you is none of your damn business, especially when you’re dead.
It’s good to know who you are and what you want. But your perception always lags behind reality. And if you limit yourself to what you want, you’ll always sell yourself short.
I adore you and think you are a smart, creative, caring person. But it is far better to take right action today than to worry about how you will be remembered in 30 years.
As for hiring people you actually want to spend time with, I’m for it. Do make sure to pick the ones who are still alive.
I didn’t know we had Club Schmitz in common – lived there as a UD undergraduate. Count me amoung the 50% who are fans.
If you asked me to write my own obituary during the hiring process, I might not jump through that hoop. And I’m actually a damn fine person to know
However, I enjoyed reading yours and salute you now, while you are living. I did learn a lot about you. Maybe more than an early employment relationship needs. Nothing wrong with a little mystery.
Keep being provocative.
Hmm, my obituary for W. Tincup wouldn’t sound much like that. I must know a different guy. Smart, soft hearted, wicked sense of humor, always left ‘em smiling.
Dick Bolles was responsible for a ton of aha moments, mine included. Meeting him was like meeting the Wizard of Oz.
When I write your obituary, I will leave out this indiscretion.
Nice piece… keep their heads ringin
Love this post, and it is so timely during this (All-Hallows-Eve) time of the year! I found out about 3 people close to me who died, just on Sunday. i can’t do this exercise right now, but thanks for the great idea!
XX OO Dawn
Great stuff William. Thinking about your destiny is a wonderful thing to do every few years, it’s amazing how it changes as we get older. I wonder if most job candidates would be able to do this well, and what it would tell us about their ability to do the job at hand? When I ask candidates questions like “what makes you want to work here” or “where do you want to go with your career” I often get blank stares. It’s not always something people have thought about nearly enough, and let’s face it, we’re all reinventing ourselves on a regular basis.
As usual, a thought provoking piece William. However, one favor can we have the “celebration of life party” while you’re still alive as it’d be fun to have you there too