Go home when you're sick.

sicky-sicky-hr

The dealership has been hit with an epidemic, which makes absolutely no sense to me since I made them all get a flu shot (myself included). Side note, men are super wimpy when it comes to needles.

HTTP://WWW.FASTHOMEWORKK.COM

I have always been one to actually show up to work when I'm sick. I'm not going to do that anymore. I feel like I am at death's door. And I feel this way because some other work-a-holic employee came to work and germed me up.

So because I am sick, and because I have discovered the joys of daytime television, you get half an effort from me. Today, you get an excerpt from the book I'm writing.

This is a piece from a chapter in my book. This chapter is titled: WHO DRESSED YOU AND SENT YOU TO WORK TODAY?

***

I never imagined how baby-ish some men would be in the workplace. Ladies, do you agree? Some men are big babies?

Maybe this is why so many women are in HR. The men need a daytime wife to take care of them.

I work in an 80% male environment. Look, I wish it were different, but I have just been having a hell of a time trying to find women who can fix cars. I also have a hard time finding women who want to work until 9pm and every Saturday on full commission. Although, when I do find women sales people, it’s like a blessing from Sweet Baby Jesus. Women can sell cars. If you take nothing else away from this book, take this, women are better at selling things than men. And all of you men, you all need to encourage your woman to sell cars. It’s like the secret of making money, and you could all sit back and be rich and happy.

Anyway, back to how men rely on their women.

I cannot even count the number of wives I have spoken to on the phone about various things that their husband’s should be speaking to me about.

“Hi, Meredith? This is Vince’s wife. He won’t be in today because he is si

ck. He’s got a cough and green snot. I sent him right back to bed as soon as I looked at him.”

“Hi, Meredith? I was wondering about the deductible on the insurance. My husband had this claim, and he said he would come and see you, but you know how men are… they just don’t understand things like deductibles.”

“Hi, Meredith? My husband forgot his lunch today. Can you let him know it’s still on the counter? I tried to call back to the shop, but they must be busy fixing cars and stuff. And do you have $5 he can borrow?”

“Hi, Meredith? This is Steve’s girlfriend. I was just wondering, since we have been living together for a few years, did he list me as his life insurance beneficiary?”

“Hi, Meredith? It’s Shelly again… I’m so sorry to keep calling. But I just need to know if you know where he’s working now. That rat bastard keeps hopping jobs to get out of paying for these kids! Child support is trying to track him down.”

“Hi, Meredith. Jerry needs to take the 28th off work. He says he can’t remember how to request it off for vacation, you know, now that you make them do it electronically… Can you just go in there and do that for him?”

“Hi, Meredith. Jack’s paycheck is wrong. And by wrong, I mean, it’s half of what it typically is.”

What is wrong with some of you, men? Get your houses in order!

***

Okay, that's all you get.

I'll bet you wish I had shared something useful, like my thoughts on sick pay or something. Sorry about that. How about you leave me your thoughts on sick pay or something in the comments?

Happy Saturday, y'all!

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FOT Background Check

Meredith Soleau
Meredith Soleau was supposed to be a famous country singer, but her parents made her go to college and major in something “real.” She graduated with a B.S. in Business from the University of Toledo, and landed a gig as a Human Resources Director at a large car dealership in Ohio. After eight years of HR at a car dealership, she burned out, decided to sell cars herself, and has since launched her agency, where she specializes in finding blue-collar workers. Clearly she has plenty of stories. But the best stories are probably about Meredith, herself. Read them on her personal blog, meredithsoleau.com, where she holds nothing back. Follow Meredith on Twitter. Become her friend on Facebook. Connect with her on LinkedIn.

3 Comments

  1. Campbell says:

    Very Funny! Get better!

  2. Graeme says:

    Meredith if your HR department is so intimidating that workers have their partners call you about pay issues you have a problem.

    On another point I would not be talking to partners about employees pay as there could be a privacy issue here.

  3. LeiLani says:

    Story of my HR life. Wives calling me to handle on-the-job hubby’s business. Fun bears.

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