Kindest Regards

Meredith Soleau Communication, HR (& Life!) Advice, Meredith Soleau

I am super weird about people’s email sign offs.

I over-analyze everything, and I assume that the sender has a brain that works like mine, so I start picking apart the email, based on not only the content – but also on the email signature.

So just in case anyone ever feels like emailing me, I want to make it clear about what goes through my mind.

Thanks!

Even when I am not asking for anything, I find that my typical email response is a simple, “Thanks!”.

I “Thanks!” too much. I hate myself for this.

I’m probably not thankful that you need help analyzing a medical claim that isn’t getting paid (because you still have not sent in that one piece of paper the insurance company needs to process the claim). Actually, I should be saying, “You’re welcome!”, but since I type fast, and this is a short word, I just end up looking thankful all the time – even when I want to kick a kitten (since I have already told you four times that they need to know if you were involved in a car accident).

Sincerely,

I have never really gotten into the word “Sincerely,”.

Sincerely just seems very insincere if it’s your go-to.

But sometimes I do say “Sincerely,” if I am correcting a mistake. Why? Because I am sincerely sorry when this happens, and I want the other person to know I accept responsibility.

🙂 or  ;0) or :/

Emoticons are dumb.

If we are buddies, or if you are using a bit of sarcasm, you can throw a smiley face at me. But when people send resumes or want me to try them out as a vendor, and they use an emoticon as a sign off, I sort of just disregard that person.

I know. It’s mean. But in my head, you are a huge idiot. I’m just being honest here.

And stop saying “LOL”. I know that isn’t typically a sign off. I just wanted to say it because it is irritating.

LOLOLOLOLOL = DUMB

Hahahahaha! = Better

Cheers!

Okay, Kathy Rapp uses “Cheers!”, and it makes me super jealous of her coolness.

Kathy can get away with “Cheers!” because she is full of awesomeness and rainbows.  I, too, could probably get away with “Cheers!”, but I haven’t been brave enough to display this sort of coolness yet.

Do you know who cannot get away with “Cheers!”? Super stuffy HR people who just want to look cool.

If you are going to (basically) clink a wine glass with someone, you’d best have the personality to suit it.

I do.

Kathy does.

It’s pretty much hard to tell if we are drunk or sober at any given time.

Okay. Fine. Just me. I am the only one who seems like I am kind of drunk all the time.

Sorry, Kathy. You can no longer use “Cheers!”. I have stolen it from you. You are too sober acting.

Kindest regards,

If you have ever received an email from me that ended with “kindest regards,”… I hate you.

Maybe “hate” is a strong word. I just want to give you the middle finger. A middle finger filled with hate.

Yours truly,

This one freaks me out. I never use it.

“Yours truly,” truly feels like you want to get in my pants. It has sexual harassment written all over it.

Yes… my ego is really that huge.

Best wishes,

I “Best wish,” the crap out of people who don’t get the job.

I send the obligatory thanks-but-no-thanks email, and I sign it with “Best wishes,” because I truly do wish this person the best in their job search.

Ain’t nobody got time for being unemployed! And somehow, I feel like this makes them like me even though I know they are hating me for not giving them the spot.

***

Dear Reader,

That’s my list! And if you don’t like it, well, then, “Kindest regards,” to you. Jerk.

What do you use to sign off? And what do you agree with, disagree with, or think that I missed on the list?

Give me some feedback!

Thanks!

Meredith