One of the things I’ve been working on professionally has been relationship building. Especially in a huuuuge matrixed environment. Especially with so many outside partners in the work I do. And it turns out some of that is filtering its way into my home life.
Which maybe is necessary. After all, what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine is the mantra with which I entered my marriage. And while it’s still true, I’ve learned to become a little more generous in this marriage of ours. Just a little. Which I think is good for all of us.
We’re in the process of buying a new house for example. I’ve given hubby the garage and the basement as a man cave – he can do what he wishes with either so long as the rest of the house is mine. Decorative selections, furniture, fixtures, etc… it’s all mine.
And I was planning on doing everything in isolation and he could observe how it would all come together as things were delivered. Kind of a good plan. After all I was generous enough to give him a garage and a man cave. But strong arming doesn’t work when you’re in bed together for the rest of your lives – literally. It’s just easier to get some buy in and work through this as a partnership. Even though at the end of the day the ship’s captain is… me.
So this past weekend, we hit furniture stores together. We sat in sofas. We looked at rugs. And now that he knows what I like and I what he likes, I’m in a better place to choose things that we’ll both like. Maybe. But the partnership, getting some input and making decisions together? It kind of feels good. I’m going to want him to hang out with me in all parts of the house after all, and not in that man cave all by himself.