William Tincup for President

Tincup for President

Okay, I’m running for the President of the United States of America in 2016. Time for Tincup to clean up Washington!

Are you with me? Don’t say yes or no yet… here’s my short plan to un-screw America:

  • Guns: you can buy them, own them, swap them—whatever. The only caveat is civilians cannot possess any weapon with a clip that holds more than 10 bullets. Here’s the thing… if you can’t kill a deer with 10 shots… spend more freakin’ time on the shooting range. We should be focusing on the clip not the other crap.
  • Drugs: I would decriminalize/legalize all drugs. ALL. You can buy whatever you want. Consume until  your heart’s content. All drugs are taxed at 10%. The Feds get paid… the underworld gets the shaft.
  • Taxes, Part I: I would tax all nonprofits. Churches, schools, social services, whatever—at least property taxes. Nonprofits need to ante up. I’m sick and tired of them having the best real estate in our communities and not paying their fair share of taxes. If they want to do good for the community, we gots to get paid.
  • Taxes, Part II: I would implement a flat tax for businesses and individuals. 5% If you make a dollar, 5% goes to the Feds. Our tax code can now fit in a tweet. Sorry accountants… you just got screwed. All the wizardry, loopholes and other tax gimmickry is disgraceful. Everyone pays 5%—the rich, the poor, the socially backwards, and even corporations.
  • Whores: I would decriminalize/legalize prostitution. If you want to sleep with someone, you should be able to. If you want to charge for that, you should be able to. Period. The oldest profession needs to be legitimized and people involved in it need to be safe.
  • Age: I would standardize the legal adult age at 18. Smoke cigarettes, vote for $h!t, drink like fish, serve your country, rent a car, etc. When you turn 18 you should get all the perks of adulthood—not some. In the current world, you can join the Army and vote but you can’t drink a beer. That’s messed up. I would change that.
  • Campaigns: I would limit the amount anyone can give to a candidate to $1,000. That limit would apply to individuals, businesses, nonprofits, PACs, Super PACs, alien invaders, whomever. $1,000 bucks. That’s the max. Smaller campaigns are good for everyone. It would limit the dumb stuff we see and hear.
  • Arts: I would really fund the arts. As you study the history of the world, great civilizations have always funded the arts. We aren’t great, but we could be… and one way to become great is to get folks to think great ideas via the arts. Poetry, check. Music, check. Painting, check. Sculpture, check. Photography, check. You get the idea. We’ve politicized the arts, which is about as dumb as it gets. Give artists bags of money and let them do what they do. The results will propel us.
  • Immigration: I would let anyone that wants to come in, come in. Here’s the catch: immigrants get a National ID that contains their DNA and fingerprints. They would be taxed at 10% for 5 years. If an immigrant has paid taxes for 5 years and has not created legal issues for our country, then we should welcome them with open arms. If you are in the country right now or have been for years (generations), the clock starts now.
  • Prison: I would create a vastly different world in prisons. Depending on the crime, criminals would either get punishment or rehabilitation. Not both or neither. For instance, capital murder: the criminal would be doing hard time each and every day of his/her sentence. No TV, no days off, no visitors, nothing but hard time. Do the crime, do the time. However, for lessor crimes, let’s really invest in the person. Let’s really try to rehabilitate that person. Society would determine the line between punishment and rehabilitation.
  • Defense: I would invest heavily in the defense department. I want to have the best military in the world by a factor of 10. Line up our enemies, and I want to be able to crush 10 of them at the same time. Hopefully, it never comes to that but if someone messes with us… they would rue the day. In my mind, offense wins games, defense wins championships.
  • Salaries: I would triple the salaries for teachers. Our educational system sucks, mostly because we don’t pay the best and brightest to become teachers. Let’s change that. Lawyers, bankers, doctors… and teachers. I would also increase the salaries for police officers, firefighters and philosophers, as well.
  • Gambling: I would decriminalize/legalize all forms of gambling. I’m assuming you work hard for your money. If so, you should be able to gamble on whatever the hell you want. Period. Spend your money & have fun. IMHO, a stigma shouldn’t surround gambling. Remember the bit about taxes; yo… the Feds get that 5%.
  • Budget: I would institute a balanced budget from day one. Period. Most families have to live within a budget and so should the federal government. It’s common sense man.
  • Terms: I would make it illegal to serve more than two terms in ANY public office. ANY. No more career politicians. Politics needs to be about service and representation not a career path for English and/or Political Science majors. The best and brightest should want to serve.
  • Veterans: I would suggest that we honor our commitments to those who have served our country. Truth is, we treat veterans like $h!t. We need to stop that. Let’s give them a house, a car, an education, a job, great healthcare… whatever the hell it takes. Let’s make their lives better, not worse.

Okay, that’s the short plan un-screw America.

Put on your HR/recruiters’ hats… would you hire me?

#TINCUP2016

FOT Background Check

William Tincup
WILLIAM TINCUP, SPHR. William is the CEO of HR consultancy Tincup & Co. William is one of the country’s leading thinkers on social media application for human resources, an expert on adoption of HR technology and damn fine marketer. William has been blogging about HR related issues since 2007. He’s a contributor to Fistful of Talent, HRTechEurope and HRExaminer and also co-hosts a daily HR podcast called DriveThruHR. Tweet him @williamtincup and check him out on Facebook and LinkedIn. Not up to speed in the social media game? Reach out via email. William serves on the Board of Advisors for Insynctive, Causecast, Work4Labs, PeopleReport, Jurify, TrackMaven, SocialEars, AppLearn, StrengthsInsight, The Workforce Institute, PeopleMatter, SmartRecruiters, Ajax Workforce Marketing and is a 2013 Council Member for The Candidate Experience Awards. He also serves on the Board of Directors for Chequed and is a startup mentor for Acceleprise. William is a graduate of the University of Alabama of Birmingham with a BA in Art History. He also earned a MA from the University of Arizona and a MBA from Case Western Reserve University.

19 Comments

  1. Not only do you have my vote, William. I will volunteer to work on your campaign! Bam, get elected!

    Reply
  2. Steve says:

    Why is this on FFOT? How is it related to HR or recruiting?

    Reply
    • Did you read the question at the end? IE, would you hire me?

      Answer that… and then I’ll tell you how it relates…

      And, thanks of the comment btw.

      William

      Reply
  3. Petar says:

    I would hire you and I would vote for you. What the today’s world is missing is common sense in managing our business/government. I think that you nailed a lot of that right here.

    Petar

    Reply
  4. Lauren T says:

    I’d hire you in a heartbeat!

    Reply
  5. Deb McClanahan says:

    I’d hire you in a heartbeat, and vote for you in a Detroit minute…Go William!
    Running as an independent or a Whig?

    Reply
  6. akabruno says:

    So, you want to invest heavily in defense, veterans, the arts, and teachers while balancing a budget. Will the flat tax of 5% (10% for immigrants), and taxes on gambling and drugs be sufficient to meet the above needs? Show me the money.

    Reply
  7. John says:

    I can’t tell if this is satire, some blogging experiment, or what he actually thinks. I’ve always thought Tincup’s stuff was interesting, but this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read by him. Increase funding for practically everything (arts, veterans, teachers, firefighters, police, immigration, prison, defense), but cut taxes to 5% and somehow force a balanced budget? Yeah, it’s “just common sense man.”

    No, I would not hire you or vote for you. These are simplistic platitudes and cliches, not sound policy for complex problems. I would kick you out of the interview for applying for a position that you weren’t qualified for and wasting everyone’s time.

    Reply
  8. Tim Sackett says:

    I want to be your Secretary of Common Fucking Sense. I want that to be my exact title.

    So, I guess I’m saying, Yes. I would vote for you and support you. I don’t necessarily believe in all the stuff you put up there, but that why it would be great!

    T

    Reply
  9. Kristina says:

    Hired. Now get out there and make some $h!t happen!

    Reply
  10. Fraser says:

    Do it.

    And even if you don’t – get your list into the hands of every campaigning wannabe campaigning President and tell them – “Hey – here’s your list of what y’all are going to promise to do during your campaigns and town halls. Your own agenda’s mean nuthin’. Kiss all the babies you want – but you deviate from this list and you’re out!”

    Reply
  11. Tim says:

    It’s time to put a Tincup in the White House.

    Reply
  12. I want to be Chief of Staff. And they will do their BLEEPING job or get the BLEEP out.

    Reply
  13. Kimberlee, Esq. says:

    Hahahaha, I would not hire you, though I agree with 90% of that. Though I suspect Nick Corcodilos would hire you, for the exact reason I wouldn’t.

    You’re suggesting I hire you for a job that you are making a lot of assumptions about, but clearly don’t understand. The first year will just be spent disabusing you of the notion that you understand it. That’s why I think Nick would hire you; you’re coming into this with a plan of how to make the company (America) profitable, but there’s simply no way that you really know how to do that coming in from the outside.

    (Granted, that makes you like every single other politician that has ever run for office. So I suppose you’re not the LEAST qualified applicant in the pool.)

    That, and your numbers don’t add up. You had me until defense spending… take out that plank and I think you’ve got yourself a new Great Society.

    I’m intrigued to see what you do with Monday’s post!

    Reply

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