People I’d Like To Punch In The Face

face punch

“I’d like to punch him/her in the face!”

I’m addicted to saying this lately. It’s my new go-to phrase for when someone pisses me off. The funny thing is, I’ve only ever punched someone in the face once in my entire life. I’ll save the details of the full story, but I was in middle school and getting bullied and pushed around, so I finally turned around and just punched the kid right in the face! You know all those after-schools shows and doctors that tell you to “stand up” to bullies.  They lie!  He wasn’t at all pleased that I punched him in the face. My saving grace was that I was really fast.

In business, I run into people almost daily that I wish I could just punch in the face. It seems like the punching-in-the-face technique would, many times, just be a better, quicker way of getting to the point that we need to in our relationship, anyway. None of this “building of the relationship” and making “emotional deposits.”  It’s all just so exhausting! Plus, to be honest, I think there is a large percentage of the population that just needs a good punch to the face!  A physical wake up call. I can probably separate 99% of people I run into, into two buckets:

1. Those who need a punch in the face.

2. Those who need a hug!

There are probably even some that need both!

Because I’ve already proven to be a terrible puncher in the face of people, a good hugger, and fast, I’ll just give you the list of people I’d like to punch in the face if that was actually an option for me:

1. Anyone who texts or emails or surfs on their phone while driving!  I drive a lot, and it seems like in today’s world over 50% of the people I pass (I drive fast) are looking down at their phone. I would support any political candidate that would pass a bill that legally allowed you to shoot or run those people looking down at their phone off the road! I have kids who are driving, I’d like to see them live a long life. In a way, people who do this are worse than pedophiles. As pedophiles have an illness, you know it’s wrong and consciously make a decision not to stop!

2. Hiring Managers who won’t admit to their biases. Everyone has them and some are worse than others. But, if you hire twenty or more people a year and you’ve proven that you don’t like to hire women, or old men, or African Americans, just own up to it. It’s the only way you are ever going to make yourself right!

3. Employees who want to see other employees fail. There’s a special place in hell for people who get their jollies off of seeing someone else fail. It doesn’t even have to be employees… I run into this weekly with sports parents. Grown adults wishing and hoping a kid will fail, so their kid looks better. It’s disgusting at a level that makes me physically sick to my stomach!

4.  HR Pros who hold their organizations hostage under a vale of legal compliance.  “Nope we can’t do that. Federal regulations won’t allow it. Everyone has to fill out our application to be compliant!”  No they don’t!  You’re a liar!  All you’re doing is terrorizing your own organization to ensure your outdated process gets followed!  I can’t even tell you how many organizations I go into where this is happening at so many levels!

5.  That Bully from Middle School who I’m sure is now working some menial job and living in a trailer park with his ugly wife and crazy kids.  Yeah, I’d like one more shot at him!

So, who would you like to punch in the face?  Hit me in the comments.

FOT Background Check

Tim Sackett
Tim Sackett SPHR, is the ultimate Mama’s Boy!  After 15+ years of successfully leading HR and Talent Acquisition departments for Fortune 500s and smaller technical firms, Tim took over running the contingent staffing firm HRU Technical Resources in Lansing, MI. Serving as the Executive Vice President, Tim runs the company his mother started over 30 years ago, and don’t tell Mom, but he thinks he does a better job at it than she did!  Check out his blog at www.timsackett.com. Because he's got A LOT to say, and FOT just isn't enough for him.

15 Comments

  1. KMK Foley says:

    Love this. Though usually I use the phrase, “I’d love to check him/her right into the boards” — Same idea, but hockey-style.

    Reply
  2. Kristina says:

    I’d like to punch the HR pro in the face who thinks that a college graduate intern is not competent enough to understand the long drawn out processes for every function in the HR dept that would be great for an intern to do… maybe if your processes are so complicated a junior level college kid can’t follow them you should get a clue that they are ridiculous, or you should get a punch in the face.

    Reply
  3. HD says:

    Reactionary leadership. Take two, a punch in the face and let’s regroup. Tell the client group that they can just chill the out.

    Reply
  4. Is it lazy of me to want to punch SHRM and HRCI in the face as they’ve made everyone look like baboons because they couldn’t play well together at the playground? As if we didn’t already have credibility and identity issues? Thanks for making us… all of us… look retarded.

    Reply
  5. Nicole H says:

    The moderator of a meeting that goes for 2.5 hours withoutr a frickin stretch break or bathroom break. I don’t care. I do it anyway but goshhhhhhh! KaPOW!!!!

    Reply
  6. Juli J says:

    I think about throwing a punch at nearly everyone these days (apparently I have gotten angrier with age). To name a few: the bike riders that think rules of the road don’t apply to them, pushy sales reps who think bashing the competition is the way to a sale, anyone who uses intimidation as a tactic, grown-ups who throw temper tantrums because they don’t like change, and millennials.

    Reply
  7. Terryl Bronson says:

    I’d like to punch in the face every person that goes to a job fair just to collect the swag from each company. If your life sucks that bad that you have to grab every funky pen, note pad, mini football, etc with some company’s logo on it then you need to remain unemployed. I would also like to punch myself in the face for spending money on useless swag to take to career fairs.

    Reply
  8. Jeffrey Obront says:

    They work for a certain municipality and a particular school board that is wasting thousands of dollars (yours and mine, as taxpayers) on inefficient use of media space… and when actually shown examples and remakes that CLEARLY demonstrate a better, more cost-efficient way of doing EXACTLY the same work for less, they reply by saying — sorry, we are not interested!! POW (a good smack in the head)!
    So let me understand this, what you are telling me is that your organization — a publicly funded/supported company — isn’t interested in saving [taxpayers] money??!?
    That’s right. POW (another smack in the head)!!
    So what you are saying is that both you and your organization are not interested in accomplishing the same work in less time and for less money??!?
    That’s right. POW (good for another smack in the head)!!!
    And the virtual word-for-word remakes that clearly demonstrate literally thousands of dollars saved, doesn’t strike you as an example of continuous improvement — something each person in the organization is supposed to value??!?
    That’s right. Sorry, but YOU NEED A PUNCH IN THE FACE.

    Reply
  9. Stew says:

    People who invented the “30-page-Job-application-form-after-already-signed-in-using-linkedin”

    I wish I could punch you in the face for every page I have to deal with. But instead I stopped filling in the forms.

    Reply
  10. Working Man says:

    My list is far too long to put in print. New rule for anything involving HR: #TrialByCombat

    Reply
  11. Kelli says:

    The Philosophical Philosopher. It’s great to have deep conversation and to be pushed to find the right answer. But on the rare occasion when I march into their office and say that I need some immediate assistance or say that I am at a loss on what to do next, I would like to be given the answer or at least a list of options to help me find the answer versus being told that the answer “lies within.” I know it’s horrible to punch Yoda in the face, but some times it has to be done. LOL

    Reply
  12. Guy says:

    Sometimes I think I should give myself a punch in the face for believing that one day my boss will become less stubborn, less egotistical, more likely to listen to advice based on logic, reason and good business sense. In fact, the more I think about it…maybe I’ll just give myself an uppercut right now.

    Reply
  13. Lisa says:

    Reading this is therapeutic. I think I’m less likely to punch someone in the face today. :)

    Reply
  14. People who “reply all” to an e-mail sent by “the company” using a corporate distribution list. This is always followed by 100 other people then hitting “reply all” themselves saying “please don’t reply all.” What started with one person needing a punch in the face turns into 101 punch-in-the-face-worthy people in a matter of minutes.

    Reply

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