“I’d like to punch him/her in the face!”
I’m addicted to saying this lately. It’s my new go-to phrase for when someone pisses me off. The funny thing is, I’ve only ever punched someone in the face once in my entire life. I’ll save the details of the full story, but I was in middle school and getting bullied and pushed around, so I finally turned around and just punched the kid right in the face! You know all those after-schools shows and doctors that tell you to “stand up” to bullies. They lie! He wasn’t at all pleased that I punched him in the face. My saving grace was that I was really fast.
In business, I run into people almost daily that I wish I could just punch in the face. It seems like the punching-in-the-face technique would, many times, just be a better, quicker way of getting to the point that we need to in our relationship, anyway. None of this “building of the relationship” and making “emotional deposits.” It’s all just so exhausting! Plus, to be honest, I think there is a large percentage of the population that just needs a good punch to the face! A physical wake up call. I can probably separate 99% of people I run into, into two buckets:
1. Those who need a punch in the face.
2. Those who need a hug!
There are probably even some that need both!
Because I’ve already proven to be a terrible puncher in the face of people, a good hugger, and fast, I’ll just give you the list of people I’d like to punch in the face if that was actually an option for me:
1. Anyone who texts or emails or surfs on their phone while driving! I drive a lot, and it seems like in today’s world over 50% of the people I pass (I drive fast) are looking down at their phone. I would support any political candidate that would pass a bill that legally allowed you to shoot or run those people looking down at their phone off the road! I have kids who are driving, I’d like to see them live a long life. In a way, people who do this are worse than pedophiles. As pedophiles have an illness, you know it’s wrong and consciously make a decision not to stop!
2. Hiring Managers who won’t admit to their biases. Everyone has them and some are worse than others. But, if you hire twenty or more people a year and you’ve proven that you don’t like to hire women, or old men, or African Americans, just own up to it. It’s the only way you are ever going to make yourself right!
3. Employees who want to see other employees fail. There’s a special place in hell for people who get their jollies off of seeing someone else fail. It doesn’t even have to be employees… I run into this weekly with sports parents. Grown adults wishing and hoping a kid will fail, so their kid looks better. It’s disgusting at a level that makes me physically sick to my stomach!
4. HR Pros who hold their organizations hostage under a vale of legal compliance. “Nope we can’t do that. Federal regulations won’t allow it. Everyone has to fill out our application to be compliant!” No they don’t! You’re a liar! All you’re doing is terrorizing your own organization to ensure your outdated process gets followed! I can’t even tell you how many organizations I go into where this is happening at so many levels!
5. That Bully from Middle School who I’m sure is now working some menial job and living in a trailer park with his ugly wife and crazy kids. Yeah, I’d like one more shot at him!
So, who would you like to punch in the face? Hit me in the comments.