Don’t Call Me HR

I have never been good at the public confrontation that sometimes exists in the business world. Corporate politics, power struggles, back-stabbing, blaming—I hate most of that. I’m a lover, not a fighter, folks.

What do I love, however? I enjoy watching those awkward moments when someone tries an office power play and fails. The uncomfortable awesomeness of one person trying to intimidate another, and then failing, is as fun as watching Facebook videos of guys falling off of bicycles.

Years ago, we were sitting in a tense meeting with an Operations leader. His unit was losing money and it was time to consider, among other things, a reduction in force. He was defensive, angry and aggressive. We had all the usual suspects in the room: operations, senior executives, finance, accounting, human resources, etc.

Jim, the business leader, was running a meeting to get everyone on the same page about the upcoming job cuts.  It was a tough meeting.

Jim didn’t help. He would sprinkle in statements like, “Well, if HR would let us do this the right way, we’d be done with this already and move on,” or “HR won’t let us make the changes we want make…” He was laying into all of us, but had a particular issue with those on the people side. He was obviously trying to deflect some of the blame for his failing unit.

My boss at the time, Todd, let him go for a while, but then finally turned the power play.

“Jim, who exactly are you talking about when you say “HR?” I am confused. Is someone here named HR? Are you talking about me? Is that it?

Let’s do this, Jim. We’ll get through this together if we act like adults. Don’t call me HR. Call me Todd. We’ve given you good advice. You’re angry about it. That’s fine. Disagree with me, but don’t depersonalize who we are as advisors to you. I’m Todd, you’re Jim. If you have an issue with my advice, have the guts to call me by my name. I’m not Corporate; I’m not HR. I’m just trying to help you out of your bad business deal.”

I sat there like the junior kid in the room that I was, never before having seen such a public smack-down that sounded like a line from Destiny’s Child. It was kinda incredible, and I didn’t open my mouth in the office for three days. With years behind me, though, here is what Todd the Yoda taught me.

1. Good HR requires a relationship. If people don’t know you, it’s just a transaction

2. Have an internal reputation that is yours, not your department’s. Make sure your internal clients know who you are, not just your  title.

3. You can let people vent, but don’t get pushed around. When it is time to stand up for yourself, do so.

You’ll know you made it in your company when people don’t really know your title. They will just refer to you as the person who gets things done and will come to you to solve all types of HR issues, even ones outside of your specialty. You’ll have relationships with enough people that they almost forget what department you work in, and they’ll call you by your name.

FOT Background Check

RJ Morris
R. J. Morris is based in the STL as the Director of Talent Acquisition and Management for McCarthy Building Companies, a multi-billion dollar national firm. Like many others in the FOT clan, he’s a sports nut who can endlessly draw the parallels between athletes, sports and the talent management game. I know, I know, as if we needed more of that. He has 10 years of practitioner experience leading talent efforts in corporate HR and another 7 years in leadership roles on the agency side, so he gets both sides of the desk. Talk to R.J. via emailLinkedInTwitter...


  1. kd says:

    Stand up and represent!

    Good advice – we should all model that…


  2. Olivia Hensley says:

    I absolutely love this. Everyday, I hear “HR said…” or “HR won’t let us…” No, damnit, my name is Olivia, and stop blaming your crappy decisions on me. Honestly, I do love my job, and I’m happy to say that most of the time, I am “Olivia” to the people with whom I work.

  3. Don McNeil says:

    Great article. If I can add, #4 Know the business. In the world of HR, to be taken ‘seriously’ you have to know the business. This means get out from behind the desk and visit your internal clients, heck go to your customer’s site and see how it all works first hand. I’ve done this while in the O&G industry and have been to places you would never go for vacation! But this had a significant and lasting impact on the people I partnered and eventually help grow/improve their business. They trusted me because they knew me and I knew them.

  4. KimmieSue says:

    Stellar advice!!!! Spot on.

  5. I love the clear way he was able to serve up his message and still stay professional. He cut through to the point and shut down the rest.

  6. Rahul says:

    The specialist that I would love to have an onutrtppioy to work with is a Neonatologist. I think that it would be a blessing and a miracle to be able to work with little ones that have to rely on you during their first few weeks of life. Some infants may require extra attention and treatment for various reasons. Being able to show empathy and give support to the families during the process is essential. My daughter was six weeks premature and required extra treatment, so I can understand the feeling that parents have when they can’t leave the hospital with their little miracle. Being able to now be the one to give that support to the families and making them feel as comfortable as they can be knowing that their child is receiving the best care possible is really important to me. New parents may feel overwhelmed and may not know how to do certain things, so being able to assist in showing them how to care for their little one would be an amazing experience.The specialists that I would least want to work with would be an Emergency physician and a Proctologist. Working with an emergency physician, you would never know what you can encounter any given day. I feel that I can handle a lot with respect to blood or anything that could make a person queasy, but I don’t know how I would react if a patient came in with a severed limb or just anything that is extreme and out of the ordinary. As with a Proctologist, I don’t have an interest working with a specialist that deals with disorders of the colon, rectum, and anus. With both of these specialties, it may be because neither are areas that I would explore. I’m sure with proper training you will be more knowledgeable and see the importance and necessity of having a specialist that can provide care for patients that depend on them to make them feel better.At the end of the day though, you have to love what you do no matter which area of interest you choose.

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  16. Touchdown! That’s a really cool way of putting it!

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  26. Dear Pastor John,I have read your words. I just wish to add, that those who have seen God will tell you – When it comes to God, all one can do is be humbled. If one has seen God, they will have the “burn marks” to prove it.

  27. http://www./ says:

    hei hei Moamoren…SÃ¥ bra at du friskner til igjen. Aldri kjekt Ã¥ være syk med feber, det slÃ¥r en litt ut. HÃ¥per du har hatt en vakker og glad dag, selv om det har vært overskyet hos deg. De vakre putene pynter i hvertfall fint opp i vintermørket!Fortsatt god bedring skjønne venn:))

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