It’s that time of year, again. The time when you can’t figure out what the heck you want to watch because there are so many new things on TV.
As I sat programming my DVR, eating pork rinds and trying to remember what my toes look like, I began to wonder: What does it say about our employees when we examine the shows they watch? I decided to conduct a wholly unscientific survey by leaning over and asking my dog. He was asleep, so I had to come up with the following on my own.
Does your employee watch The Big Bang Theory? If so, they are probably scientifically minded. Perhaps they are an engineer. Maybe a computer scientist. Regardless, they are clearly a big geek. They like to laugh at jokes that the common person doesn’t get. Like this t-shirt. Highly logical and probably quite brilliant, this person may just be the inventor of the next Spotify or Oculus. Or… they are none of these things. It’s also quite possible that your employee is just a plain nerd who still lives with their mom.
Is your employee looking forward to the new series Gotham? If so, this employee is likely very forward-thinking. Gotham is a brand new show, based on an old and beloved character. In order to make it appealing and not just another lame interpretation of Batman, they will need to try new things. Therefore, employees that watch this show are likely to be open to experimentation and reinvention. You can expect them to challenge the status quo and push your company in new directions. It’s just as likely, however, that you simply have a teenager stuck in an adult body who would rather be working at a comic book store.
Is the show of choice for your employee Dancing with the Stars? Then he or she may be creatively minded. Perhaps they can come up with new ideas on a whim. More thoughtful than analytic, these employees perform their duties led by the heart. They care about the company, their coworkers and the customers, and they will do whatever it takes to make them happy. This employee likes to think of new ideas and test them out via trial and error. They’re an employee that may fail a couple times before coming up with the next huge amazing idea. My guess, however, is that this is one of your “tenured” employees—someone who has been around so long that their chair has a permanent imprint of their butt. This person is too old to try out Gotham. They would rather watch their favorite D-list celebrity from the 80s shake their groove thing.
Is your employee anxiously awaiting the return of Grey’s Anatomy? I would be careful with this employee. It would not be unwarranted to suspect that this employee may have had a relationship with another employee. In fact, it would not be a stretch to assume that said relationship ended when the partner of said employee left to kanoodle with his original love, yet another employee, thereby opening the door for sexual confusion when yet another employee was hired and quickly falls in love with said employee, helping her to overcome her lost love by falling into the arms of another. At least until that lost love was killed by a bus. Or something.
Probably your most successful employee is the one who is ready for The Walking Dead. This employee is fearless and resourceful. This employee knows that he/she needs to give it their all in order for the company to survive. They will team up with colleagues when it makes sense. And, they will go to war against the competition when they need to. They realize that it takes a village to succeed! Until it takes one person to lead the way without objection! Until it means stepping down because they are going nuts and keep killing people… I mean… making bad decisions. The employee that watches The Walking Dead can always be counted on to do whatever it takes. However… if they insist on being called The Governor … well, then you have the wrong kind of The Walking Dead-watching employee. Fire this employee IMMEDIATELY!!!
Any others? Let me know in the comments. Me? I am lined up to start watching Gotham and continuing on with The Walking Dead. Maybe I’ll start watching New Girl, too. Cuz, that means I’m… uh… well, let’s skip that one.
Jason Pankow realized long ago that he wasn’t smart enough to actually program video games and game consoles. So, he found another way to participate! In between bouts of pwning newbs in Halo or scoring mad gamerpoints, Jason spends his time as the Staffing Program Manager for Microsoft’s Devices and Studios Division. Jason’s day is spent running programs that help recruit the obscenely talented developers, designers and engineers that have blessed the world with the likes of Xbox, Kinect and tons of other rad stuff, much of which he can’t tell you about. So, don’t ask. In non-nerd speak…what this means is that Jason has the coolest recruiting job in the world! Look him up as “Satchmo Baggins” on Xbox LIVE. But, watch out for the dreaded headshot!