The Sackett Job Plan

Tim Sackett Uncategorized

In HR we love plans and it seems like 2011 will be known as the “Year of the Job Plan”, and HR Pros should love that!  Everyone has a job plan – Obama, Bachmann, Romney, Palin and Perry (well Perry doesn’t actually have a job plan, he just wants to tell you how bad everyone elses plan is and if we all moved to the great country of Texas we would have jobs). I’m not here to debate job plans and politics, what I’m here to do if to layout a job plan we can all get behind and support – for argument sake let’s just call it:The Sackett Job Plan!  Simple, and no one at FOT gets wrapped into my insanity.

You probably already have some questions, like:

1. What has Tim Sackett done that would qualify him to make a job plan? (Nothing – makes me perfect for creating a job plan – because as far as I can see our political leaders have done less than nothing.)

2. Why should we listen to Tim Sackett about jobs vs. are trusted politicians? (You shouldn’t, but you’re here now, so buckel up.)

3. Why is there always 3 questions listed in a list like this? (It’s called the Rule of Three and it makes for more engaging content)

So, now that you see I’m suficiantly capable of creating a Job Plan – let’s get started.

The Sackett Job Plan

Like all great plans we will need a catching phrase and logo – I’m going with a logo of the block “S” because I have no logo budget and I like the Spartans (Plus it doubles to emphasize the “S” in Sackett, so people know it’s my plan – that I’m giving to you). For our catch phrase we are going to use: “Say Hello To My Little Jobs” – but you have to say it like Al Pacino in Scarface, full Cuban accent.  You can feel it can’t you!? Feels good, feels strong, feels diverse – a plan America can get behind!  You see that’s what it’s all about a good logo and catch phrase, the rest is really just details.

Now for the jobs part.

First off, I was at the store the other day and I’m waiting in line.  One cashier, 4 other idiot employees watching the one cashier try and help 8 people in line.  The 4 others easily could have jumped on a register and helped us all out – BOOM – we all save 10 minutes of standing there acting interested in our smart phones.  So, my 1st Job Plan plank:

A new law that forces all retail locations, regradless of product, to “man” (I will allow woman as well – it’s just wording) every register they have at their location at all times. 

You Love It Right!?  No more waiting in line.  You walk into Wal-Mart at 9:30am on a Wednesday and all 20 register lines are open and ready to serve!  America baby!That will add roughly 8.7 Million jobs back into the economy.

The 2nd Job Plank:

Cell phone companies must to give you a personal phone “trainer” to take with you out of the store for the first 2 weeks you have your phone. They go everywhere with you to ensure you get full utilization of the ridulously overly desgined phone they sold you.

It’s really not as expensive as you think, these people can sleep on couches and just eat meals with you, etc.  It’s more than giving jobs – shelter, food, compaionship. I won’t go into much detail but really it solves almost of our ills in society. Roughly 13.2 Million jobs generated.

Final, Job Plank #3:

Goverment backed Car Cleaning Stations! Like the post office, but you just drop your car off, they clean it, inside and out, you pick it up after work. 

Tax dollar backed like every other bad government service – but you’ll actually appreciate this one!  It will cost, but a really reduced rate like $2.64. Then each year they’ll raise it like $.07 – just like they did with stamps, so you can still use your pennies. Jobs generated – 4.3 Million.

Before you shower me with accolades – please don’t – it’s my duty as an American to give this Job Plan to everyone. It’s my gift.  The only thing I’ll ask in return is for you to make me your Surpreme Ruler, call me King Sackett, and have Warner Bros. make Matrix 4.