The High Five You’re Giving Around The Office is L.A.M.E.

Kris Dunn Current Affairs, HR (& Life!) Advice, Kris Dunn

Did you know that yesterday was National High Five Day?

Check It:

It’s not a Hallmark-generated holiday, because let’s face it, the high-five is the card.

Let’s face something else.  Most of you suck at the high-five.  Your lameness presents itself in the following ways, featured daily in your organization:

You’re old and you try to high-five someone young.  Forced. #fail.  You’re not standing around the keg any more people – don’t try to high five someone 20 years younger than you.

You ask for the high-five.  See Puddy video from Seinfeld below (email subscribers, click through for the video).  If you have to ask for the high five, it’s forced.

–You’re a manager and you either initiate a high-five or accept a high-five from one of your people.  You know what makes you look hip as a manager? Being really good at managing people and having great coaching conversations – not the high-five.  I sense a drop in respect for you from your team.  What could be the reason?  Oh yeah, you high-five direct reports.

You act like a total Bro in conjunction with the high-five. General rule of thumb for high-fives – don’t pose and generally act like a bro when you give or receive one. You know you do this, gentleman.  Just stop.  See clip below for what you look like:

 laker bros

You attempt to give a high-five in other inappropriate, awkward ways.  Cross gender is the biggest touch point her.  I once tried to give Laurie R a high-five and while she didn’t really want to participate (see Puddy video), our high-five connection was poor since I’m a solid 6’3″ and she’s a self-reported five feet flat.  That means she can’t reach me and even if I bring it down, the altitude considerations are going to get in the way.  See all the bad high-fives in the animated gif below (there’s some bro activity there as well)


So to sum it up – high-fives are great. But treat the practice with a little respect people. Especially you white guys.

I’ll leave you with the immortal words of the great alternative rock band Local H, who have seen so much disrespect of the high-five in clubs across America that they penned a little tune called High Fiving MFer:

“You High-Fiving ************ (repeat 4 times)
You’re just a walking billboard
For all the latest brands
You’ve got no taste in music
And you really love our band
You’re haircut is atrocious
It’s been the same since ’83
Your glory days are over
And so’s your stonewashed jeans”

BTW, here’s the video of that song, which is highly NSFW but includes one of the great intro drum tracks in the history of music.  We used to listen to this before going to watch minor league hockey – cause you know, you have to get G’d up for the fights.

High-five someone today in your company, but respect the craft.

Hit me with a link in the comments to a high-five gone wrong you’re fond of on the interwebs.  Have a great weekend, FOT Nation