Fast Company has an article called – “3 Things Professional Women Should Stop Apologizing For,” which were:
- Their Financial Expectations (i.e., pay us the same!)
- Their Physical Appearance (i.e., Sorry we aren’t club ready–I was up with a sick kid all night!)
- Their Professional Accomplishments (i.e., Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t brag about what I do great!)
It’s a great article–check it out. This got me thinking about all things we apologize for in HR (that we should stop apologizing for), so here’s my top 3 things HR pros should stop apologizing for:
1. You getting fired! Oh, boy this could be #1, #2 and #3! I can’t tell you how many HR folks I’ve trained over the past 20 years that I’ve specifically said “When you let this person go–don’t apologize!” I mean, truly, what are you saying?! “I’m sorry you are terrible at your job, or made the decision to sexually harass your co-worker–you’re fired!” When you really think about it, it sounds funny.
2. You not getting promoted. This is almost the same as apologizing for getting fired. Instead of apologizing to someone for not getting promoted, how about you give them a great development plan so they can actually get promoted! Organizations can be big hairy breathing things–sometimes decisions are made and you won’t know the reasons. HR pros shouldn’t apologize for you not getting promoted, but they should help you navigate the political and organizational landscape.
3. You not liking your boss, your job, or your pay. Ugh! We tend to apologize for all these personal “happy” choices a person makes. The last time I checked, I never forced anyone to take a job, or forced them to accept the pay I was offering them, or forced them to work in the occupation or career they chose. These are their own personal choices. If you don’t like it–LEAVE! Go be happy somewhere else. I hope that you’ll be happy here, but I can’t force you to be happy. I’ll try and give you a solid leader, with good pay and challenging work but sometimes what I see as solid, good and challenging might not meet your expectations. That’s when you need to make a happiness decision!
So, what should you apologize for as a HR pro? I can think of two things that I apologize for on a regular basis:
1. Things I can control. If I control it, and I screw it up, I need to offer you an apology)
2. Surprises! I might not be able to control surprises, but they suck when it comes to business and your livelihood. I apologize for surprises because in HR it’s my job to make sure those don’t happen to you as an employee.

If you Google “Tim Sackett” you’ll find our Tim, and a truck driver chaplain. Our Tim is NOT the truck driver chaplain, although how awesome would that be if he was!? He is a prolific writer in the HR and TA space who just happens to also run an Engineering and IT contract staffing agency (HRU Technical Resources) out of Michigan. He also writes every day at his own blog, the Tim Sackett Project. Weirdly, he’s known as an expert in workplace hugging, which was kind of cool years ago, but now seems painfully creepy, but we still love him and he’s fairly harmless. Tim is also on the board of the Association of Talent Acquisition Professionals (ATAP), lifetime Michigan State Spartan fan, husband to a Hall of Fame wife, 3 sons, and his best friend Scout. He also wrote a book with SHRM called The Talent Fix, you can find it on Amazon.