Weird Al Writes the World’s Greatest Mission Statement

Jason Pankow Bad HR, Communication, Culture, HR, Jason Pankow, Pop Culture, Uncategorized

You may have seen the plethora of Weird Al videos invading your Facebook feed lately. You see, he currently has the #1 album in the country.  The video with the most visibility, at least in my circles, has been “Word Crimes.”  It’s especially important for us bloggers out there.

However, another video, more important to us HR folks, IMHO, is “Mission Statement” where Weird Al, soon to be Head of HR for the World, comes up with the PERFECT… umm… mission statement. While he may be a bit unorthodox at times, the mission statement Weird Al outlines in his song is something to be emulated. Here’s why:

At the end of the day, we can leverage this paradigm on the runway towards organic growth, pushing the envelope towards proactive and robust transformation of our clear goals and functional milestones, bringing to the table a diverse holistic approach to our strategic communication, thereby assuring a best-of-breed enterprise and customer-centric, win-win, outside-the-box-thinking for our key stakeholders.

Such a seamless solution can be socialized via granular B2B fulfillment, thereby assuring a value-added return on investment and quick-win collaboration vis-à-vis cross-platform disruptive technologies and fuzzy logic that provides best-in-class infrastructure.

So… in summary, what I am saying is this: Put down that chainsaw and listen to me!  It’s time for us to join in the fight!!

Jason Pankow

Jason Pankow realized long ago that he wasn’t smart enough to actually program video games and game consoles. So, he found another way to participate! In between bouts of pwning newbs in Halo or scoring mad gamerpoints, Jason spends his time as the Staffing Program Manager for Microsoft’s Devices and Studios Division. Jason’s day is spent running programs that help recruit the obscenely talented developers, designers and engineers that have blessed the world with the likes of Xbox, Kinect and tons of other rad stuff, much of which he can’t tell you about. So, don’t ask. In non-nerd speak…what this means is that Jason has the coolest recruiting job in the world! Look him up as “Satchmo Baggins” on Xbox LIVE. But, watch out for the dreaded headshot!