The Three Types of Contractors that HR and Recruiting Leaders Meet When They Get to Heaven!

Kris Dunn Contingent Workforce, Influence

Paradise. Eden. Nirvana.

Whatever you call it, we’d all like to make it to Heaven.

There’s just this one little catch. What if the HR and TA/Recruiting leaders who make it to Heaven are presented with a slew of contract labor components handling the most important activities in what some call the “Happy Valley?”

I’ll tell you what would happen. Upon encountering these contractors, the HR and TA/Recruiting leaders who I know would probably grin (just a little) before proactively listening and providing guidance to the type of contractor in front of them to move the process along and get to where they needed to be.

HR and TA/Recruiting leaders would thrive if Heaven started using contractors. That’s an absolute truth.

Need examples? Here you go.

Location: Gates of Heaven
Type of Contractor: Temp to Perm
Issue: Temp to Perm can’t find the HR/TA Leader’s name on the list.

How the HR/TA leader handles this situation: Our HR/TA leader subtly mentions the challenges with the technology being used, asks temp to perm employee for their name to personalize the encounter, then alludes to the fact that they’re actually going to be the one in charge of conversion of temp to perm workers once they settle into heaven. They then flash some of their confirmation paperwork, and the gates open up. A hug ends the interaction. There’s no COVID in Heaven.

Location: Initial Meeting with God
Type of Contractor: High-End Consultant with HR background on 9-Month Contract with 2.25 Markup
Issue: Consultant is being difficult and challenging our HR/TA Leader as to whether they have done everything they need to in order to make good use of God’s time.

How the HR/TA leader handles this situation: Our HR/TA leader stays humble and asks for the consultant’s help to start the troubleshooting. About a third of the way through, they ask a casual question that leads to a conversation and presto! They know about ten of the same people in the world of HR/TA. Our HR/TA Leader then mirrors the body language of the consultant and agrees with the consultant’s take on the other HR/TA leaders they have in common.

Towards the end of the interaction, our HR/TA leader turns their face to concern and disappointment that they are lacking one out of the ten things they need to make the meeting with God. But wait, good news! The consultant is going to take care of our HR/TA Leader! She’s good people. The consultant transmits her contact info telepathically to our HR/TA leader as she hits the stairs leading to God so they can meet up next month in a Starbucks in Heaven.

Location: Cloud Ride/Relaxation
Type of Contractor: Gig Worker
Issue: Gig Workers keeps cancelling ride for HR/TA Leader to clouds, where relaxation and reflection is at its best.

How the HR/TA leader handles this situation: Our HR/TA leader wasn’t born yesterday, as evidenced by the fact she’s in Heaven. After the second cancellation, she finds a common waypoint for ride pickups in heaven and just jumps in a car with a gig worker, then directs them that she’s not going to the heavy inventory of accomplishments center but instead is going to the clouds. When she exits, she apologizes, she thought the gig worker called her Julie, not Julian. She offers to pay for the ride with Heavenly credits, but the gig worker cancels the ride on the app and says he was coming to the clouds anyway. All is well that ends well.

Is Heaven making the move to staff with contractors? Is that because fewer Angels are earning their wings? I’m unclear on both fronts.

But what I do know is this: no one is more prepared for contractors doing work in heaven than the HR and TA/Recruiting leaders at your company.

They are going to thrive in a Heaven with contingent labor.

KD out.